This month I thought I broke out of my reading slump. It was a lie. I’m still here, don’t mind me. I’m just drowning in my TBR! It’s hard to breathe. I’m fine!
Story Time! Stay with me. I promise I’ll actually get to the wrap-up.
My relationship with books has become strained. It started with us spending less and less time together. Before I knew it we only saw each other once a week, if that. Always communicating through other people. It left me feeling empty and not myself.
We got into a fight and it wasn’t even really about us, it was the toxicity of others and it seeped into our relationship. Before I knew it, we stopped talking to each other at all.
I started filling that hole with others, like television shows, and films. Books tried to persuade me to spend more time with them, teasing me with genres and tropes they know I love, but they could never hold my attention.
Books started drinking too much. They would get emotional and irrational. They knew they had lost my attention. They would lash out. Throw all the fun times we once had in my face.
A flirtation with others quickly turned into affairs. I didn’t want to fall into them but the life I had made with Books felt cold and distant. It no longer felt like home.
I worked more and more, choosing my blog over Books time and time again. But Books wouldn’t lose hope. A part of them knew we would find each other again.
People would ask us about the other with concerned faces because they never heard us talk about each other anymore. Our answers would be followed by worry frowns from those who cared, and sly smiles from those who were glad to hear it wasn’t only their relationships that were struggling.
One day, I hope that the dull ache washes away, to find myself yearning for the home I once found in Books.
One night, after a few too many glasses of wine, we’ll find ourselves laughing and reminiscing about the old times and I’ll realize that I don’t want those to be over. I’ll want to have more of those times.
We’ll stay up into the early hours of the morning, laying ourselves bare to each other, being completely honest and open to each other. That night we’ll promise each other that we will put in the work needed to fix us.
It will be a slow and long process but we’ll fall back in love with each other and soon we’ll hold a party to celebrate us coming back together.
I won’t be able to remember the last time I was this happy. We’ll get too drunk and make ridiculous and soppy speeches. Our parents will argue over whose fault it was that we nearly got divorced in the first place (It was mine).
We’ll take it one day at a time but they’ll come a time when looking back on this part of our lives will no longer sting. It will just have been a small part of our magical journey. The time we almost lost each other for good, but somehow made our way back.
This is why my mum calls me her little drama queen. All this just because I can’t seem to read properly anymore, but it truly is breaking my heart!
There was a far better version of this written before except somehow I have either not saved it and lost it forever or it never really existed in the first place and I just dreamed of writing it which is just as plausible considering how crazy and realistic my dreams have been recently!
│ The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue (Guide #1) │ Mackenzie Lee │ ★★★★★ │ Full Review │✅│📖│🏳️🌈 🔆 🧠│
│The Queens of Innis Lear │ Tessa Gratton │➡️│💻│🔆│
│The Bad Beginning (A Series of Unfortunate Events #1) │ Lemony Snicket │ ★★★☆☆ │ Mini Review │✅│📲│
│The Reptile Room (A Series of Unfortunate Events #2) │ Lemony Snicket │ ★★★★☆ │ Mini Review │✅│📲│
│The Wide Window (A Series of Unfortunate Events #3) │ Lemony Snicket │ ★★★☆☆ │ Mini Review │✅│📲│
│Every Heart A Doorway (Wayward Children #1) │ Seanan McGuire │➡️│📚 📕│🏳️🌈 🔆 🧠│
After reading The Gentleman’s Guide, I was convinced I had worked myself out of my slump. I had not.
I tried pushing through and reading Grey Stone but I wasn’t interested.
I tried reading The Queen of Innis Lear next because ya girl has got arcs to get through. I’m kinda interested. I don’t know. I’m not ready to give up on it because I have a feeling it’ll get better and hold my attention and I’ll enjoy it…I just gotta get there first and it’s the getting there that I hate.
I decided to read ‘fun’ short reads to try and get out of my slump. I picked up Willam’s Suck Less and I nearly read it in one sitting! And yet…I wasn’t excited about it. It was good, and I enjoyed it but my enjoyment in reading has become a dull feeling, just hanging around but not bringing itself to the forefront.
Next, I picked up the first three books in the A Series of Unfortunate Event series and I’ve still got that dull enjoyment going on. I’m just waiting for something to excite me and push itself past whatever weird numbness is happening right now and get me excited again!
I’m really hoping this is where Every Heart a Doorway comes in. It’s got all the makings of a book I love…But then again, so did Gentleman’s Guide and that didn’t do the trick. Ugh.
That’s the books done! Now I wanna talk about Television! Because your girl has been watching a lot of it!
In place of books, I have turned to my other great love! Netflix! and Foxtel (Aussie cable) and Stan (Aussie Netflix).
My highlights this month are;
│Real Housewives of Cheshire│Real Housewives of Beverly Hills│Real Housewives of NYC│RuPaul’s Drag Race│RuPaul’s Drag Race Untucked│Jersey Shore: Family Vacation│
Listen, I love my reality shows and have zero shame. People ask what my guilty pleasures are and I honestly don’t have any because guilty pleasures imply that there is guilt and shame surrounding something you enjoy. I don’t have that. I like what I like, and I sure as shit don’t enjoy things for other people’s sake so I don’t care about what people think of the things I enjoy.
If you watch any of these let me know! I am happy to talk about them for hours because most people IRL don’t watch them ahah.
│Suits│Grey’s Anatomy│Brooklyn Nine-Nine│One Day At A Time│
Suits: I just want Donna and Harvey to finally get together!
Grey’s Anatomy: I just want Maggie and Jackson to be happy together. They’ve become my Grey’s OTP.
Brooklyn Nine-Nine: It’s just such a great show! It’s one of my unproblematic faves and god damn is it hard to find those!
One Day At A Time: I’m currently watching One Day at a Time with my mum. We always have a show we watch together every Tuesday night and it’s mostly shows I have watched and knew she would love. One Day At A Time has become another one of my unproblematic faves
I mean what is happening? Is television actually listen to us when we say we’re sick of offensive comedies with the same old jokes??? and I stan Elena Alvarez.
│On My Block│The End of the Fucking World│DC’s Legends of Tomorrow│
These are all shows I’ve binge watched and most likely watched in 24 hours, though some I tried to spread out over a couple of days…
On My Block: It’s brilliant. It’s another new unproblematic fave! What is happening??? My little heart is soaring. All these good shows. GO WATCH IT! I love it. They’re all my children and need to be protected and THAT CLIFFHANGER! I need the second season tomorrow.
The End of the Fucking World: When this was first advertised my mum sent the trailer to me. She knows her daughter well. I really enjoyed it. It’s so fucking weird and hilarious.
DC’s Legends of Tomorrow: I’ve recently dropped The Flash because I don’t know what the writers think they’re doing but it’s all shit. There’s a couple of good episodes every now and then that I really enjoy but it’s just not worth it.
I was really devastated with dropping The Flash because since Love, Simon I love me some Keiynan Lonsdale. However, I was super fucking happy to hear that he switched to Legends! I started watching from when Wally enters the show and I’m really enjoying it so far. I’m glad Wally was moved!
The 100 just came back as well so I’m really excited to see where the next season takes us…Hopefully to Bellarke.
But that doesn’t look good. Writers please just give the fans what they want. Please!
It’s music time and guys, 20gayteen is alive and well in my music playlist this month.
So in my Apple Music, all my playlists are titled using exclusively emojis. It wasn’t planned. I just used to struggle coming up with names of playlists because they were less to do with things and more to do with how they made me feel.
A couple of months ago I made a playlist filled with LGBTQIA+ artists because I wanted to support my community more! It’s aptly named 🏳️🌈👩❤️💋👩👨❤️💋👨🏳️🌈
Well, this year just keeps delivering more and more great queer music and I am loving it!
I’ve been listening mostly to;
│Hayley Kiyoko│Troye Sivan│PVRIS│Kehlani│Betty Who│Trevor Moran│Panic! At the Disco│Keiynan Lonsdale│Love, Simon Soundtrack│
Hayley Kiyoko: How can I not have lesbian Jesus on my playlist??? It would be sacrilege without her, honestly. I’m loving her Expectations album. Some of my favourites are;
│Let It Be│What I need (feat. Kehlani)│Wanna Be Missed│He’ll Never Love You│ Molecules│ Curious│
Troye Sivan: I am impatiently waiting for new music but while I wait I have been listening to some newer tracks and some of his older stuff. I also LOVE his track on the Love, Simon soundtrack which I’ll talk more about in a bit.
│HEAVEN (feat. Betty Who)│BLUE (feat. Alex Hope)│ for him. (feat Allday)│My My My!│Papercut│
PVRIS: I’m still reasonably new to this group but I’m enjoying most of what I’ve heard.
│Same Soul│You and I│Half│Holy│
Kehlani: Jesus Christ, I love her music so much! At times she sounds super similar to Demi Lovato as well! I’ve not found a song of her’s I don’t like yet! I think my most favourites so far though is Honey and the collaboration she did with Hayley Kiyoko.
│Honey│What I need (feat. Kehlani)│Playinwitme (feat. Kehlani)│Touch│Hold Me By The Heart│
Betty Who: I’m not big on a lot of Betty Who’s music but when I love it, I really love it. I discovered her thanks to her collaboration with Troye Sivan. As far as I know, she isn’t actually queer? but is an LGBTQIA+ ally? Don’t quote me on that, I’m not sure! But I really love that her music has meant a lot to the community and I love supporting fellow Aussies as well!
│If You’re Hearing This│Mama Say│Some Kinda Wonderful│
Trevor Moran: I’ve only actually listened to Sinner and I honestly love it so fucking much!!! I really need to check out more!
Panic! At The Disco: I discovered how much I actually love Panic! last year. I was making a nostalgic playlist and knew there were a couple of Panic! songs I loved in High School. While going through all of their music I realized I actually really loved so much of their music and it dawned on me that I had someone managed to be a Panic! fan without knowing it. I include Panic! in my LGBTQIA+ playlist because at this point Panic! is mostly just Brendon Urie and he’s bi so he deserves a spot there. And he’s coming out with a new album soon! I’m so excited!! Maybe I’ll get to go to a show if he comes to Australia!
Book Note: This is Gospel gives me massive Six of Crows vibes!
│Girls/Girls/Boys│Don’t Threaten Me with a Good Time│Hallelujah│The Good, the Bad, and the Dirty, Emperor’s New Clothes│This is Gospel│Nicotine│(F**k a) Silver Lining│
Keiynan Lonsdale: I told you I can’t get enough of this Aussie Queer icon and God damn the kid can sing, and dance (check out his dance cover of BTS’s Serendipity). I didn’t realize he could sing until I heard about his queer anthem Kiss the Boy and I’ve loved every single one of his songs so far, Lay it on Me might be my favourite though.
│Kiss the Boy│Lay it on Me│Good Life│Royal Blood│Higher│
Love, Simon: Big surprise! It’s honestly just such a good soundtrack!!!
Book Note: Tell me I am not the only one who thinks Strawberries & Cigarettes is not a great song for Andriel from the All For the Game series????
│Strawberries & Cigarettes – Troye Sivan│Never Fall in Love – Jack Antonoff & MØ│Love Lies – Khalid & Nomani│Love Me – The 1975│
Well, that’s been my month! At least the part I use to distract myself from my family drama ahaha.
I wish I was joking honestly.
On a nicer note, I made my own lightbox last week because my house sucks up the sun and it’s impossible to take nice photos! If you are thinking of making your own lightbox as well I have some tips;
- Don’t start making it at 1 am
- Actually measure stuff like the instructions tell you to, especially if you only have one box and no room to fuck up
- Just follow the instructions all together
- If you’re clumsy like me, maybe get someone else to use the box cutter to do all the cutouts because I cut my thumb while making this and it really hurts
- Probably cut away from you like they taught in school and like you have for sure been doing since then…
- Maybe don’t make it sitting on the floor of your bedroom when you get frustrated trying to make it while in bed
- Probably don’t make it while sitting in your bed
- Definitely make it on a large table with loads of room
I’m very proud of it, but it’s not the prettiest. It is very much held together by only tape and my literal blood. I’m yet to test it as I need to buy some lamps but fingers crossed it works or I’ll cry.
How did everyone else’s month go?
Did you get much reading done?
Did you watch too much television like me?
Or are you done with your family’s shit too? Tell me about it!