Mini-Reviews // A Series of Unfortunate Events 1-3 – Those Poor Baudelaire Children

Hi, hello, oh look at that! I’m posting a review! Not just one though, no. I don’t just do things. I really DO things! I am the woman of extremes who will go from posting no reviews to posting several at once because balance. What is that??? How the fuck am I supposed to know?? Will I ever learn??? no, never.

Today, y’all are getting three for the price of one and also my thoughts on a television series because Netflix is officially my best friend and I don’t know when to stop, clearly. 

Over the last couple of weeks, I have been Actually Reading and woah, oh no, what is happening??

Being in a reading slump had somehow become a fundamental part of my personality and now I’m too scared to let it go.

No, but really. I am not about to declare that the slump is broken because I’ve done that about three times, already, and look, we’re still here!

Slump Grey has no idea what the hell she’s talking about, ever! She’s deliriously book deprived and feels oh so very broken and people who feel broken are dangerous things. I should know, I’m related to most of them. HAHAHA, joking. Oh, how I wish I was.

Cloud Separation

So, books! Reviews! I am not at all procrastinating this part because I’m scared or anything…

So once upon a time, Baby Grey stumbled upon this collection of dark books about three children who never really stood a chance. While everyone was busy being in love with the Harry Potter and Percy Jackson books I was busy reading ASOUE, the Spiderwick Chronicles and books about World War II. Baby Grey liked her entertainment dark, I mean, not much has changed really. 

I was about 10 when I read this series?? Maybe, I don’t really remember (as we all should know by now my memory is shocking so…), but I do remember falling in love with them! I don’t remember them being quite as dark and depressing though.

Maybe this is why my humour is so dark? All this time I thought it was my own trauma and turns out maybe it’s the trauma of three fictional children I read about as a smol bean!

I don’t remember a whole lot of the series from the first time I read them.
Things I do remember:
1. I have maybe one memory of a major thing that happens in each book I read
2. And I don’t know for sure which memory goes with what book until I’m reading it
3. I didn’t finish the series
4. I don’t remember how far in I gave up
5. That’s it.

Obviously, this is going off to a great start.
I assume, once I stop having the resurgence of a memory, part way through reading each book, I’ll have discovered which book I gave up on.

Baby Grey was always bad at finishing series. Her attention span was shocking.
I don’t know why I am saying this in past tense as if it’s any better now??? Spoiler alert: It is not. I just am more capable of finishing series now?? HAHAHA! No, I’m not.

I am still yet to complete a series longer than like 3-4 books. I can get much further than that in a long series but I always fall just a little short. I never finished the last book in the Harry Potter series. I read a, 12?? book, series in my late teens and then just gave up at the last book once again. I didn’t even try and pick that one up. 

Okay, now I really need to stop procrastinating these reviews and jump in!

Lightning Separation

Oh yeah, WARNING FOR SPOILERS AHEAD: Probably don’t read these reviews if you haven’t read the books.

the bad beginning a series of unfortunate events ASOUE.jpgDetails
Title: A Bad Beginning
Series: A Series of Unfortunate Events
Author: Lemony Snicket
Publisher: Harper Collins
Age: Middle Grade
Genre: Fantasy
Released: 1999
Trigger Warnings: Guardian abuse

Synopsis*: Dear Reader,
I’m sorry to say that the book you are holding in your hands is extremely unpleasant. It tells an unhappy tale about three very unlucky children. Even though they are charming and clever, the Baudelaire siblings lead lives filled with misery and woe. From the very first page of this book when the children are at the beach and receive terrible news, continuing on through the entire story, disaster lurks at their heels. One might say they are magnets for misfortune.
In this short book alone, the three youngsters encounter a greedy and repulsive villain, itchy clothing, a disastrous fire, a plot to steal their fortune, and cold porridge for breakfast.
It is my sad duty to write down these unpleasant tales, but there is nothing stopping you from putting this book down at once and reading something happy, if you prefer that sort of thing.
With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket

Cloud Separation

shrug.gif

Thing I remembered from this book: The play.
I just. I didn’t remember the books being this dark? It’s super depressing and the whole Count Olaf trying to marry a fourteen-year-old girl who was legally like his daughter made me feel sick all the way through.

I thought it was a good book, but that sick feeling really ruined it for me.

All the adults do my head in no different to real life, then and I just wanted to pull the Baudelaires out of that world and keep them safe, and I don’t even like kids.

Also, does it really matter which hand you sign documents in? Should I start signing everything with my left hand just in case I wanna get out of contracts later??

People who hate stories in which terrible things happen to small children should put this book down immediately.

3 Clouds

Where to buy
Goodreads│💲Book DepositoryKindle│**

*Taken from Goodreads.
**If you would like me to include links to purchase books from a specific store in my reviews please let me know!
💲I receive a small commission off the following link

I read this book as part of my 2018 Library Love binge, where I read as many library books as possible to take advantage of my great local library network!
To follow my binge reading adventure just visit my 2018 Library Love shelf.
Or I’ll also be updating my 2018 Library Love Blog Post as I go!

Lightning Separation

the reptile room a series of unfortunate events ASOUE.jpgDetails
Title: The Reptile Room
Series: A Series of Unfortunate Events
Author: Lemony Snicket
Publisher: Harper Collins
Age: Middle Grade
Genre: Fantasy
Released: 1999
Trigger Warnings: Guardian abuse

Synopsis*: Dear Reader,
If you have picked up this book with the hope of finding a simple and cheery tale, I’m afraid you have picked up the wrong book altogether. The story may seem cheery at first, when the Baudelaire children spend time in the company of some interesting reptiles and a giddy uncle, but don’t be fooled. If you know anything at all about the unlucky Baudelaire children, you already know that even pleasant events lead down the same road to misery.
In fact, within the pages you now hold in your hands, the three siblings endure a car accident, a terrible odor, a deadly serpent, a long knife, a large brass reading lamp, and the appearance of a person they’d hoped never to see again.
I am bound to record these tragic events, but you are free to put this book back on the shelf and seek something lighter.
With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket

Cloud Separation

B99 Jake okay okay okay.gif

Thing I Remembered from this book: The Reptile Room with the Incredibly Deadly Viper but my memory told me it bit Sunny’s nose, not her chin.

I enjoyed this much more than the first one because I didn’t feel sick throughout the whole thing. Also it was a bit lighter you know, apart from the murder and I just want the Baudelaire children to be happy. My sweet, dark, winter babies.

I really love Monty! I mean he’s a bit dense but a less so than the rest of the adults in these books and he just really wanted to do a good job.

I love snakes, so I obviously adored the Incredibly Deadly Viper, it reminded me of my ex-housemates snake who was so gorgeous and lovely and never bit me. I could spend hours just holding her. I miss her… I just really wanna visit the Reptile Room!

“How did you do that?” Mr. Poe asked. “Nice girls shouldn’t know how to do such things.”
“My sister is a nice girl,” Klaus said, “and she knows how to do all sorts of things.”

4 Clouds

Where to buy
Goodreads│💲Book DepositoryKindle│**

*Taken from Goodreads.
**If you would like me to include links to purchase books from a specific store in my reviews please let me know!
💲I receive a small commission off the following link

I read this book as part of my 2018 Library Love binge, where I read as many library books as possible to take advantage of my great local library network!
To follow my binge reading adventure just visit my 2018 Library Love shelf.
Or I’ll also be updating my 2018 Library Love Blog Post as I go!

Lightning Separation

the wide window a series of unfortunate events ASOUE.jpgDetails
Title: The Wide Window
Series: A Series of Unfortunate Events
Author: Lemony Snicket
Publisher: Harper Collins
Age: Middle Grade
Genre: Fantasy
Released: 2000
Trigger Warnings: Guardian abuse

Synopsis*: Dear Reader,
If you have not read anything about the Baudelaire orphans, then before you read even one more sentence, you should know this: Violet, Klaus, and Sunny are kindhearted and quick-witted; but their lives, I am sorry to say, are filled with bad luck and misery. All of the stories about these three children are unhappy and wretched, and this one may be the worst of them all. If you haven’t got the stomach for a story that includes a hurricane, a signalling device, hungry leeches, cold cucumber soup, a horrible villain, and a doll named Pretty Penny, then this book will probably fill you with despair. I will continue to record these tragic tales, for that is what I do. You, however, should decide for yourself whether you can possibly endure this miserable story.
With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket

Cloud Separation

paul rudd meh.gifThing I Remembered From this Book: The house that was built hanging off a hill. Oh and I remembered the leeches as soon as they mentioned them.

Okay, so Mr Poe pissed me off in the first two books but her really fucked me off in this one. The whole You children see Count Olaf everywhere, you even thought he was Stephano thing?? BITCH HE WAS STEPHANO, YOU GASLIGHTING ASSFACE! I hate him so much it hurts.

And Aunt Josephine UGH! Maybe it didn’t help that she came right after the gloriousness that was Uncle Monty. How could someone live up to that in this sorry and sad story?
Aunt Josephine deserved to die. There I said it. She really sucked out all of the enjoyment for me so by the end I was skimming hard. See what I did there?

Also as a kid I took the waiting an hour before swimming after eating thing very seriously and now I’m wondering if it was fear of cramps or fear of life sucking leeches???

Mr. Poe was kindhearted, but it is not enough in this world to be kindhearted.

3 Clouds

Where to buy
Goodreads│💲Book DepositoryKindle│**

*Taken from Goodreads.
**If you would like me to include links to purchase books from a specific store in my reviews please let me know!
💲I receive a small commission off the following link

I read this book as part of my 2018 Library Love binge, where I read as many library books as possible to take advantage of my great local library network!
To follow my binge reading adventure just visit my 2018 Library Love shelf.
Or I’ll also be updating my 2018 Library Love Blog Post as I go!

Lightning Separation

So can this really be called reviews or more just word vomit??? Whatever, I’ll take what I can get!

I am also watching the Netflix series as I go and I actually think I might like it more than the book series.
I love the side plot of their parents. I don’t know if that’s true to the books and is just revealed later and I missed it because I never finished the series??? But I’m hella enjoying it!

Also, Neil Patrick Harris is killing it, but like, what’s new??
Oh, and what’s with Gustav wow he’s hot and Jacquelyn wow she’s hot? Did I miss something? Who are they? Are they the Baudelaires’ parents’ spy BFFS?? WHAT IS HAPPENING????

Okay, okay. It’s not a might. I definitely like it better than the books. They just took the books and elevated them! WHAT IS HAPPENING WITH ALL THESE GREAT BOOK ADAPTIONS???? Have they been listening to us???

Cloud & Lightning Separation

Have you read A Series of Unfortunate Events?
Have you been watching the Netflix series?
What do you think? Am I doomed to never write an actual decent review ever again? Maybe! 

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